


It's All a Fluke

by luluren



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: It's all about wanting, M/M, Reflection, he wants so much, love essay to Richard Winters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 19:44:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8813851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luluren/pseuds/luluren
Summary: In which Nixon ruminates and hopes.





	

It’s different when he gets back. 

Before it was just something that happened as a fluke, especially that first time. He’d been drunk, and so had Dick, though it wasn’t alcohol Dick was drunk on. He told Nix later that it’d been the crisp, evening air. 

They always stopped at a few kisses, Nixon stopping because he knows Dick can’t in good conscience go any further. 

The first time was just a freckled arm around his shoulders and his hand on a bony knee. A quiet moment where they said nothing and barely moved; but afterwards when it was time to get back to their rooms Nixon leaned in and kissed Dick’s cheek.

Because why the hell not?

\---------------------------------------

It’s crazy how much Dick Winters blushes. And how often. It’s a red that doesn’t match his hair, but it makes the freckles stand out even more.

It’s a freckle blush. 

(It’s kind of unhealthy how often Nix thinks about kissing every single one of those brown spots. If Dick knew, he’d never stop blushing.)

All Nixon has to do on those nights they venture outside to sit on a fallen log they’ve commandeered as their own in the middle of an old, old forest is brush a shoulder against Dick’s and he’ll turn a sweet red color that does odd things to the muscles in Nixon’s stomach. The blush opens up the opportunity for Nix to put his hand on Dick’s person, whether it’s a knee or a thigh or a shoulder - the possibilities are endless.

Whenever it’s Nixon that makes the first move (and honestly, it’s usually him), Dick will let out a little puff of air, an audible sigh, like he’s letting out every breath he’s taken in since the last time. It’s as if the world’s waiting for that sigh, because when it happens Nixon feels like he can relax and let out his own deep breath. 

\---------------------------------------

The first kiss happened so nonchalantly; it was like they knew it was coming and when Nixon pressed his lips to Dick’s, the man opened his mouth and breathed him in. Nix wasn’t expecting Dick to be so pliant, and he found himself pressing in harder, wanting to actually devour the man.

Dick made a soft sound in the back of his throat and this is what Nixon blames his sudden movement on - hands wrapped around the back of Dick’s neck and Nixon shivered against him when their tongues met. 

It’s a surreal moment, one Nixon wants to repeat over and over until the end of time. 

\---------------------------------------

That first night back Nixon knew it wasn’t going to be the same. He wasn’t sure if Dick would let him continue where’d they left off that last night or if Dick had changed enough to not want it anymore. 

It was all Nixon thought about in those quiet moments in France - it was what got him through the hell that is war. And if Dick doesn’t want it… there’s been a sick feeling in Nix’s stomach since they boarded the ship that took them back across the channel.

Everyone gets a seven day pass as soon as they return, and Dick seems surprised when Nix tells him he’s not going to London. Nix shrugs it off like it’s not a big deal, but inside it’s a huge deal. He can’t go to London, not if Dick’s not going. He can’t waste an opportunity to be alone with the man, not right now. 

But then Nixon sleeps almost 24 hours’ straight, and wakes up thinking he’s still back in France. The knocking on his bedroom door is really shells bursting above his head, and the voice saying his name is Dick’s and he’s got a wound in his belly, the worst fucking kind and _Jesus, he can’t lose Dick._

He wakes, sitting up so fast the room spins, and he finally grasps the fact he’s back in England and Dick’s on the other side of the door with no wounds. 

They take a walk, end up back in their spot with few words spoken and Nix can’t breathe. Every step feels like torture, and when Dick stops at their tree and turns to him, this inexplicable look on his face, Nixon thinks it’s over. 

It’s come to an end. 

But, and it could be called a miracle, Dick grasps Nixon’s arms and pulls him in, their breaths mingling for a few seconds before they’re kissing. 

\---------------------------------------

A lot of Nixon’s time in France is spent holding back from touching Dick in inappropriate ways. That first night when Dick walked away after mentioning the kid who played on the basketball team, how defeated he seemed about everything - Nix knew he wasn’t defeated but it was hard to not be able to offer some kind of comfort. 

But then Dick changed - he became the man he’s always been, but it went deeper. Nixon watched the respect for Dick grow and grow and grow until in the eyes of the men he became something like a god, almost untouchable. 

No one’s untouchable though. No one. Anyone can die, anytime, and there’s no goddamn rhyme or reason to it. 

Such is war, yeah?

\---------------------------------------

Nixon clings to Dick that first night back, so goddamn grateful that they’re here and alive and whole. He doesn’t think about his wife, or the girl who lives just a few miles away he occasionally visits. 

His whole world revolves around this red headed man who’s currently touching him like he’s something special. 

Dick pulls back too soon, his eyes bright but dark all at the same time, and Nixon sucks in a deep breath. He’s waiting for it, waiting for Dick to say this needs to end, that it’s just a crush and a very unhealthy one at that. And Nix knows he’s right - this can’t possibly end on a good note. 

Men like Dick Winters don’t do this sort of thing. 

But then the world gets a little bit brighter, the moon shines like it’s never shined before, and it’s all because Dick smiles and says, “I’m glad we’re here, Lew.”


End file.
